FIC: Defying Metaphor

[cruiscin_lan]

Title: Defying Metaphor
Characters: Logan/Veronica, lil' reference to Logan/Parker
Rating: R
Word Count: 633
Disclaimer: I don't own any aspect of Veronica Mars or its characters
Spoilers/Warnings: None that I can think of.
Summary: A look at how Logan's relationship with Veronica Mars evolves and devolves.
A/N: I'm practicing writing some VM fic (especially getting acquainted with Logan) before I undertake something epic for candlewaxdreams. Partially beta'ed by the good-looking dragynflies; all mistakes though are mine. Concrit totally encouraged!

Falling in love with Veronica Mars was like being strangled with a garrote. There'd be times he'd feel unable to breathe, times when he'd struggle just to function - eat, sleep, be overwhelmed by thoughts of Veronica, rinse, repeat. Just when he felt like finally dying, the feeling would finally relent. A weekend spent in Mexico, an evening getting shit-faced with friends, and he'd forget about her existence completely for a few brief hours. But then she'd enter his mind again when he'd least expect it: she'd be there in his dreams, gazing up at him with lips pursed and her eyes hard and hateful; with her ragged dyke haircut and steel-toed boots poised to kick his ass; or sometimes in her middle-school soccer uniform, cleats covered with mud and knees green with grass stains. When he remembered her like this, he thought for sure that love for her would kill him.

Being in love with Veronica Mars was like walking across shattered glass. When the sun caught them just right they were the golden couple, glittering and sparkling in the light, but there was hardship all around them. If he watched carefully enough where he was going, Logan could avoid the larger problems, navigate his way around them. In doing so, however, he almost always stepped on a shard he did not see, one small and unassuming and unnoticeable until it was already under his foot, pressed into the the sole of his foot. If he was slow and even enough, he could stand on these pieces, these tiny, unexpected problems, and they wouldn't break the skin; they'd merely push and push and push against the surface, a dull throbbing ache until he tried moving on. Balance was never Logan's forte, and more often than not he'd step squarely onto the sharp side of the shard and it would rip right into him.

Making love to Veronica Mars was like wrestling a wild animal. She was untamed and fierce, whether it happened in the bedroom, various other places in his suite, or the back of his Xterra. Only then, stripped of her clothes and her inhibitions, did she seem free of whatever concerns she might have otherwise dwelled on. It was just the two of them roughing each other up, and Logan had the scratch marks to prove it. It was just one of the reasons he liked to call her "Bobcat." But, as always with a wild animal, Logan had the niggling feeling that she was more afraid of him than he was of her.

Breaking up with Veronica Mars was like picking the scab off a festering wound. It stung to rip her out of his life like that, but he couldn't go on in such debilitating pain all the time. She needed him - his protection, his support, his embrace - but she denied it constantly, and her rejection cut him to the core. It was never intentionally hateful, but it felt like a continual pick-pick-pick that hurt a little more each time. When he decided to rip her out of his life all at once, he felt for the first time in a long time that he was free to relax, but once a scab is gone there's nothing to keep you from bleeding to death.

Logan found that living without Veronica Mars defied metaphor - it was, rather, an oxymoron. He didn't know why, but he stopped eating, he stopped sleeping, and he was sure that breathing would follow suit in time. Another blonde replaced her for a while, someone just as pretty and just as skinny and just as fucked up in a lot of ways. She could set his pulse racing, especially below the belt, but as far as sustaining a heartbeat... well, his heart was already too broken.

Comments

[superkappa.livejournal.com]

For your first VM fic, I think this was a very good exploration of Logan's thoughts on Veronica. I could totally see him thinking like this.

I especially liked:
But, as always with a wild animal, Logan had the niggling feeling that she was more afraid of him than he was of her.

And:
She needed him - his protection, his support, his embrace - but she denied it constantly, and her rejection cut him to the core. It was never intentionally hateful, but it felt like a continual pick-pick-pick that hurt a little more each time.

And the ending made me sad. Because I always felt so bad for Parker. In some ways, she really never stood a chance, considering the job Veronica had done on Logan.

[cruiscin-lan.livejournal.com]

I feel bad for Parker too! Man. At least she kind of stood up for herself there and dumped him instead of hemming and hawing about it.

[superkappa.livejournal.com]

That's true. I did like that she once she realized how hung up he was still on Veronica that she wasn't going to be his replacement. It made her that much stronger of a character.

[acinogan.livejournal.com]

man, that glass part was right on. logan trying to be careful never works for very long. and veronica did always deny the better parts of her relationship with logan.

i think you have done a good job with logan's voice here, most especially in the first section.

of course, the second you post VM fic i have changed all of my icons to dollhouse. oh, well. i am mostly just happy you have written about some of my favorite characters.

[cruiscin-lan.livejournal.com]

That's okay, I have exactly zero VM icons! Glad you liked it.

[dragynflies.livejournal.com]

You already know how much I liked this. Hands down, this It was just one of the reasons he liked to call her "Bobcat." But, as always with a wild animal, Logan had the niggling feeling that she was more afraid of him than he was of her. was my favorite line, because it rings so true of their relationship. I feel like it was always missing that mutual trust, and you can't do a relationship without it.


I'm excited to see what you come up with for the epic fics! :)

[cruiscin-lan.livejournal.com]

It's gonna be tough. Because it's going to be fluff. :P

[celtic-flicka.livejournal.com]

I really love this! The broken glass metaphor was especially perfect. I hope you decide to write more VM!

[cruiscin-lan.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it, and maybe I'll try. I think I still need more VM practice.

[vanessagalore.livejournal.com]

I thought this was very good. I really liked the glass metaphor. However, as I'm sure you're aware, candlewaxdreams is not a fan of angst. Me personally: I have a hard time writing Logan without angst. He's just been through too much.

[cruiscin-lan.livejournal.com]

I know, right? When I think of Logan I think of him looking over his shoulder, a pout on his face and his eyes glistening. And I know candlewaxdreams likes fluff, but she told me it could start out angsty as long as it ends up fluffy, so I thought I'd figure out how Logan worked before I try to undertake something as challenging as in-character epic Logan fluff.

[yuppielawyer.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, I really like this. I like angst, especially with Logan, but in the right amount. There's a certain joie de vivre with him despite his horrific life experiences which is what makes him such an interesting character.

[cruiscin-lan.livejournal.com]

True that! Thanks for reading, glad you liked it :)

[oz-black-cat.livejournal.com]

I like the 'living without Veronica' oxymoron comment, but that's cos I love a good oxymoron!

Excellent ficlet. I am definitely in the Logan angst camp too. I find it makes the fluff all the more sweeter.

[cruiscin-lan.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And now a bad joke:

What's Logan angst camp like?
Two tents! (too tense...)

WOW am I lame.

[princessbella24.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this, epsecially this part "But, as always with a wild animal, Logan had the niggling feeling that she was more afraid of him than he was of her". It says so much about them. Great Job.

[cruiscin-lan.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :)

[ever-obsessed.livejournal.com]

*is catching up on fic*

Oh, Logan, my angst bitch, how I adore thee.

But, as always with a wild animal, Logan had the niggling feeling that she was more afraid of him than he was of her.
YES.

Like, yes, perfect.

Another blonde replaced her for a while, someone just as pretty and just as skinny and just as fucked up in a lot of ways.
Aw, my Parker. I dislike that I really loved how they were setting her up as a strong character all on her own and then she just kind of became an L/V prop, sigh. At least she still had more actual, like, character more than Piz, so that's always been a plus. And nice acknowledgment that she clearly has issues, too, and is not just a pretty pretty princess like I've heard from some people, :|

[cruiscin-lan.livejournal.com]

*is catching up on fic*
That should be my default journal title.

I feel like Parker and Piz totally got shortchanged by being new supporting characters in the last season (well, Wallace was totally shortchanged too. He needs to have his own spinoff, methinks). One of my favorite things about Piz is his lack of character-ness! I love me some Piz, not gonna lie. I'd totally write some self-insert Mary Sue-style Piz fic.

[shanynde.livejournal.com]

You captured Logan perfectly. This was wonderful. Cannot wait to see if you write more veronica mars fanfics. My fav story of yours is the history of whale migration. Any chance you'd ever write a one shot like that for VM? Great work.