cruiscin_lan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cruiscin_lan) wrote2009-01-06 01:28 pm
cruiscin_lan) wrote2009-01-06 01:28 pm
FIC: Lyle Bennet: Transdimensional Traveller!
Well, I did it. I started writing a crack/parody fic starring Lyle Bennet. Chapter 1's a little short, so here's Chapter 2, too.
Title: Lyle Bennet: Transdimensional Traveller!
Characters: Lyle Bennet et al
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own any aspect of Heroes or its characters
Spoilers/Warnings: Possible spoilers for all volumes thus far, warnings for being irreverent and silly.
Summary: Lyle Bennet discovers his own ability - the ability to star in a crack/parody fic.
Chapter 1!
It was just another Sunday evening at the Bennet household, and after a long week they finally had a chance to all sit down and enjoy dinner together.
"So did anyone do anything particularly interesting this week?" Sandra Bennet asked, holding her dinner fork in one hand and Mr. Muggles in the other.
"Well, I killed Sylar, but he came back to life at the end of the eclipse," Noah Bennet offered, adjusting his glasses.
"Ah yes, and then we were briefly held hostage by him and his electric girlfriend until that lovely Japanese fellow arrived," Sandra recalled as she thoughtfully chewed on green beans.
"I went back in time and met myself when I was a baby," Claire said. "I even changed my own diaper."
"Did you drop yourself on your head, too?" Lyle, the lowliest of the Bennets, asked. "Because that would explain a lot."
Claire rolled her eyes. "Geez, Lyle, stop being such an asshole."
"Claire - watch your language," Sandra warned, bouncing Mr. Muggles on her lap. "And Lyle - stop bothering your sister." She fed a piece of her meatloaf to the dog, cooing over him while her children winced. "Now, Lyle, how was your week?"
"It was okay, I guess." This was why Lyle hated dinner conversation with his family. Even his most exciting days were nothing compared to the crazy things that happened to his family members all the time. It was like they were living in a television show - one-action packed adventure after another on Mondays at nine - except Lyle was only in the episode once in a while. Sure, sometimes he was thankful that he had the knack for missing the more dangerous house guests, but that meant he had no excuse not to get his math homework done on time. The only time he'd ever really gotten to be a hero was when he threw a bucket of water on that Elle girl - and that was less an example of quick-thinking on his part than an instinctual reaction developed from watching too man "Girls Gone Wild" films (Instant nipple sightings - just add water).
The more he thought the more he lost his appetite. Lyle sighed. "May I please be excused?"
"You aren't going to finish your meatloaf?" Noah asked his son.
"I'm not hungry," Lyle replied.
"All right, go ahead," Noah said, turning towards his golden child, Claire, as they continued their discussion of near-death experiences and superpowers.
Lyle cleared his place, scraping the leftover crumbs of meatloaf into Mr. Muggles' food dish and dropping the plate and silverware into the sink, and headed upstairs to his room.
When he opened the door, Lyle Bennet found himself face to face with another Lyle Bennet.
Chapter 2!
Lyle stumbled backwards in complete surprise. Lyle also stumbled backwards in complete surprise.
"Oh my God!" both Lyles exclaimed once they regained their balance. Thinking quickly, one Lyle pulled the other Lyle into the bedroom and shut the door behind him.
"We need to talk," said Lyle.
"Obviously," Lyle replied. "What's going on? Who are you? What are you doing here?" There were more questions, endless questions, running through his head that he couldn't even even express. Why was he so attracted to this handsome fellow? Would it be gay to kiss someone who looked exactly like himself?
"I'm Lyle Bennet," Lyle said. "I'm guessing you're Lyle Bennet, too. This is probably your house and your bedroom, and it's your family downstairs, isn't it?"
"Yes, but I don't understand..."
"You might want to sit down, Lyle," Lyle told him. "Have I got news for you."
Lyle sat down on the end of his bed, the mattress sinking beneath him, while Lyle pulled the chair away from his desk and sat facing Lyle.
"Listen, Lyle. There are infinite universes - alternate dimensions, if you will - parallel to your own. Some of them are incredibly similar to yours, while others are very, very different."
"So you've come here from a parallel universe?"
"Exactly."
"When?"
"A few days ago. You'll find, when you start traveling across dimensions, that it often causes strange occurrences in the dimensions. When I came across to this one I caused a total worldwide solar eclipse that lasted half-an hour."
"That doesn't make any sense." Lyle was only in high school, but he knew that solar eclipses couldn't possibly last that long, and couldn't be seen from all points on the planet at once. Besides that, there had been a solar eclipse less than a year ago, and they didn't occur all that often. Lyle brought his finger to his chin and furrowed his brow, trying to think of where he was when this supposed eclipse occurred, but his week had been so boring that he couldn't remember.
"I know. There are lots of scientists and philosophers and fanwankers working out their own theories about transdimensional travel, but you, Lyle Bennet, are the only person capable of going from one parallel universe to another."
"Wait - how do you know this?"
"One day when I got home from school I ran into another Lyle, just like you did just now, and he explained it to me."
Lyle thoughtfully chewed on his lip, trying to correlate this power to something he was already familiar with. "So is this a special ability like Claire's?"
"Who's Claire?" Lyle Bennet asked.
"My sister. She's adopted."
"That's cool. Is she hot?"
"Dude, you can't be serious. She's your sister."
"Not where I come from, she's not," Lyle began to argue before he shook his head, trying to stay on task. "Never mind. We have more important things to discuss, anyway. Do you know if you've ever tapped into this power before?"
"I've never run into another Lyle before, if that's what you're asking," Lyle told Lyle.
"Well, that's only the most obvious indication. There are others as well." Lyle leaned forward, his voice low and business-like, like a psychiatrist's. "Have you ever noticed sometimes when things are just a little off? Have unusual things happened sometimes, and then you never hear about them again?"
Lyle pondered that for a moment. In fact, unusual things were occurring with greatly increasing frequency, but he did hear about them afterwards - he just never seemed to be around in the first place. "I always seem to miss all the exciting things that go on around here."
"They could be instances when you slipped into another dimension and came back to your own without even noticing. If you want, I can teach you to use that power on purpose to travel back and forth between dimensions on purpose."
"Sure, that'd be cool, I guess," Lyle replied.
Lyle turned his attention away from Lyle for a moment when he noticed a few photos lining the surface of Lyle's desk. He pointed to a picture of the family's Pomeranian and asked, "Whose dog is this?"
"That's our dog, Mr. Muggles," Lyle told him.
"That's so weird. Where I come from we have a dog named Mr. Muggles too, but he's a Dalmation." His gaze wandered across the desk until his eyes fell upon another photograph. "Is this your sister?"
"Yeah, that's Claire."
"Dude, she is hot." Suddenly a plan hatched in Lyle's mind. He wouldn't help Lyle learn how to use his power at all - he would send this Lyle into another dimension and assume his identity. Reaching out, he grabbed Lyle by the shoulder, and in an instant-cut-away-special-effect shot, Lyle had vanished, leaving only one Lyle behind.
Lyle smiled evilly as he gazed at Claire's photograph on the desk. "I'll get you, my pretty," he told her image. "And your little dog, too!"
Title: Lyle Bennet: Transdimensional Traveller!
Characters: Lyle Bennet et al
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own any aspect of Heroes or its characters
Spoilers/Warnings: Possible spoilers for all volumes thus far, warnings for being irreverent and silly.
Summary: Lyle Bennet discovers his own ability - the ability to star in a crack/parody fic.
Chapter 1!
It was just another Sunday evening at the Bennet household, and after a long week they finally had a chance to all sit down and enjoy dinner together.
"So did anyone do anything particularly interesting this week?" Sandra Bennet asked, holding her dinner fork in one hand and Mr. Muggles in the other.
"Well, I killed Sylar, but he came back to life at the end of the eclipse," Noah Bennet offered, adjusting his glasses.
"Ah yes, and then we were briefly held hostage by him and his electric girlfriend until that lovely Japanese fellow arrived," Sandra recalled as she thoughtfully chewed on green beans.
"I went back in time and met myself when I was a baby," Claire said. "I even changed my own diaper."
"Did you drop yourself on your head, too?" Lyle, the lowliest of the Bennets, asked. "Because that would explain a lot."
Claire rolled her eyes. "Geez, Lyle, stop being such an asshole."
"Claire - watch your language," Sandra warned, bouncing Mr. Muggles on her lap. "And Lyle - stop bothering your sister." She fed a piece of her meatloaf to the dog, cooing over him while her children winced. "Now, Lyle, how was your week?"
"It was okay, I guess." This was why Lyle hated dinner conversation with his family. Even his most exciting days were nothing compared to the crazy things that happened to his family members all the time. It was like they were living in a television show - one-action packed adventure after another on Mondays at nine - except Lyle was only in the episode once in a while. Sure, sometimes he was thankful that he had the knack for missing the more dangerous house guests, but that meant he had no excuse not to get his math homework done on time. The only time he'd ever really gotten to be a hero was when he threw a bucket of water on that Elle girl - and that was less an example of quick-thinking on his part than an instinctual reaction developed from watching too man "Girls Gone Wild" films (Instant nipple sightings - just add water).
The more he thought the more he lost his appetite. Lyle sighed. "May I please be excused?"
"You aren't going to finish your meatloaf?" Noah asked his son.
"I'm not hungry," Lyle replied.
"All right, go ahead," Noah said, turning towards his golden child, Claire, as they continued their discussion of near-death experiences and superpowers.
Lyle cleared his place, scraping the leftover crumbs of meatloaf into Mr. Muggles' food dish and dropping the plate and silverware into the sink, and headed upstairs to his room.
When he opened the door, Lyle Bennet found himself face to face with another Lyle Bennet.
Chapter 2!
Lyle stumbled backwards in complete surprise. Lyle also stumbled backwards in complete surprise.
"Oh my God!" both Lyles exclaimed once they regained their balance. Thinking quickly, one Lyle pulled the other Lyle into the bedroom and shut the door behind him.
"We need to talk," said Lyle.
"Obviously," Lyle replied. "What's going on? Who are you? What are you doing here?" There were more questions, endless questions, running through his head that he couldn't even even express. Why was he so attracted to this handsome fellow? Would it be gay to kiss someone who looked exactly like himself?
"I'm Lyle Bennet," Lyle said. "I'm guessing you're Lyle Bennet, too. This is probably your house and your bedroom, and it's your family downstairs, isn't it?"
"Yes, but I don't understand..."
"You might want to sit down, Lyle," Lyle told him. "Have I got news for you."
Lyle sat down on the end of his bed, the mattress sinking beneath him, while Lyle pulled the chair away from his desk and sat facing Lyle.
"Listen, Lyle. There are infinite universes - alternate dimensions, if you will - parallel to your own. Some of them are incredibly similar to yours, while others are very, very different."
"So you've come here from a parallel universe?"
"Exactly."
"When?"
"A few days ago. You'll find, when you start traveling across dimensions, that it often causes strange occurrences in the dimensions. When I came across to this one I caused a total worldwide solar eclipse that lasted half-an hour."
"That doesn't make any sense." Lyle was only in high school, but he knew that solar eclipses couldn't possibly last that long, and couldn't be seen from all points on the planet at once. Besides that, there had been a solar eclipse less than a year ago, and they didn't occur all that often. Lyle brought his finger to his chin and furrowed his brow, trying to think of where he was when this supposed eclipse occurred, but his week had been so boring that he couldn't remember.
"I know. There are lots of scientists and philosophers and fanwankers working out their own theories about transdimensional travel, but you, Lyle Bennet, are the only person capable of going from one parallel universe to another."
"Wait - how do you know this?"
"One day when I got home from school I ran into another Lyle, just like you did just now, and he explained it to me."
Lyle thoughtfully chewed on his lip, trying to correlate this power to something he was already familiar with. "So is this a special ability like Claire's?"
"Who's Claire?" Lyle Bennet asked.
"My sister. She's adopted."
"That's cool. Is she hot?"
"Dude, you can't be serious. She's your sister."
"Not where I come from, she's not," Lyle began to argue before he shook his head, trying to stay on task. "Never mind. We have more important things to discuss, anyway. Do you know if you've ever tapped into this power before?"
"I've never run into another Lyle before, if that's what you're asking," Lyle told Lyle.
"Well, that's only the most obvious indication. There are others as well." Lyle leaned forward, his voice low and business-like, like a psychiatrist's. "Have you ever noticed sometimes when things are just a little off? Have unusual things happened sometimes, and then you never hear about them again?"
Lyle pondered that for a moment. In fact, unusual things were occurring with greatly increasing frequency, but he did hear about them afterwards - he just never seemed to be around in the first place. "I always seem to miss all the exciting things that go on around here."
"They could be instances when you slipped into another dimension and came back to your own without even noticing. If you want, I can teach you to use that power on purpose to travel back and forth between dimensions on purpose."
"Sure, that'd be cool, I guess," Lyle replied.
Lyle turned his attention away from Lyle for a moment when he noticed a few photos lining the surface of Lyle's desk. He pointed to a picture of the family's Pomeranian and asked, "Whose dog is this?"
"That's our dog, Mr. Muggles," Lyle told him.
"That's so weird. Where I come from we have a dog named Mr. Muggles too, but he's a Dalmation." His gaze wandered across the desk until his eyes fell upon another photograph. "Is this your sister?"
"Yeah, that's Claire."
"Dude, she is hot." Suddenly a plan hatched in Lyle's mind. He wouldn't help Lyle learn how to use his power at all - he would send this Lyle into another dimension and assume his identity. Reaching out, he grabbed Lyle by the shoulder, and in an instant-cut-away-special-effect shot, Lyle had vanished, leaving only one Lyle behind.
Lyle smiled evilly as he gazed at Claire's photograph on the desk. "I'll get you, my pretty," he told her image. "And your little dog, too!"
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My fave parts:
It was like they were living in a television show - one-action packed adventure after another on Mondays at nine - except Lyle was only in the episode once in a while.
Why was he so attracted to this handsome fellow? Would it be gay to kiss someone who looked exactly like himself?
Lyle was only in high school, but he knew that solar eclipses couldn't possibly last that long, and couldn't be seen from all points on the planet at once. Besides that, there had been a solar eclipse less than a year ago, and they didn't occur all that often.
Lyle smiled evilly as he gazed at Claire's photograph on the desk. "I'll get you, my pretty," he told her image. "And your little dog, too!"
I can so see Other-Lyle hitting on Claire. And the dog >_>
I can't wait to see where Our-Lyle ends up...
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~TR
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